Doing the same thing over and over...
...but expecting a different outcome...

Co-Dependency Humor

Story Telling...

Did you hear about the codependent who flunked geography?  He couldn't distinguish any boundaries.

Three people, one of whom was a codependent, were in line to be executed at the guillotine.  The first person stuck his head in the hole, the rope was cut, and the blade fell, only to stop an inch above the person's neck. The executioners saw it as a sign from God and so decided to let the person go.
The next person put his head in the hole, the rope was cut, and again, the blade stopped an inch above the person's neck. That person, too, was released.  As the codependent walked up for his turn at the guillotine, he turned to the executioner and said: "You know, I think I know how to fix that."

Codependent Calvin was driving down Canal street in a sweat because he had an important CoDA meeting to attend and couldn't find a parking place.  Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me.  If you find me a parking place, I will turn my will and my life over to the care of you!"  Miraculously, a parking place appeared.  Calvin looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one."

You Know You're a Codependent If...

...after you die, someone else's life flashes in front of your eyes.
...you get kicked off jury duty for insisting that you're the guilty one.
...you find yourself in a rut -- and move in furniture.
...
you wake up in the morning and say to your mate: "Good morning, how am I?
...you want to 'Like' something on Facebook, but you first look to see who else has Liked it.

Questions & Answers

Question: What do you call a codependent who says 'no' and doesn't feel guilty?
Answer: Healthy.

Question: Why did the codependent cross the road?
Answer: To help the chicken make a decision.

Question: Why does a codependent buy two copies of every self-help book?
Answer: One to read and one to pass on to someone who really needs it.

Question: What does a codependent have in common with God?
Answer: They both have a plan for your life.

Question: What does a codependent order for lunch?
Answer:  I don't know, what do you think I should have?


Got a good one?  Send it to torqueware@cox.net for submission.